And just like that, he realized he was already free.
Your Sphere of Control
There are only two things in the universe that you can actually control.
You can’t control what happens to you. You can’t control who loves you or gives you a job. You can’t control the weather.
You can’t control anyone else. You can’t control anyone’s feelings or thoughts.
Oddly, people spend a lot of time and energy trying to change the world around them. Trying to change someone else’s feelings.
Trying to control their environment or circumstances.
But none of it works. It all ends in frustration and wasted time.
The only two things in the world that you control are…
Your thoughts and your actions.
That’s it. Nothing else.
Maybe that seems like a small thing, to only have such a limited amount of control… but the truth is different.
The truth is that, if you embrace the power of your own thoughts and actions, you will realize that there are no limits on what you can achieve.
If you spend all your focused energy inside of your sphere of control, you harness all of your power instead of wasting it on things you can’t actually influence.
Remember that the next time you feel stuck. There’s really no such thing.
Step One
So many people fall short. Don’t be one of them.
Don’t be one of those “busy” people who never seems to really accomplish anything.
It’s an easy trap to fall into, and a simple thing to avoid.
If you want to reach your goals, it’s all about Step One.
Step One
Figure out the hardest and most important thing you can do today.
Then make it your primary goal for the day, and start on it.
Immediately.
Sometimes It’s So Fucking Hard
Just to keep going… it’s brutal sometimes.
You want to quit. You want to give up.
The pain and struggle and frustration all feel so overwhelming. They make you feel small.
And you have to make a choice to just not listen to that voice that tells you to stop.
You have to keep pushing. Keep moving forward. No matter how much you think you can’t take it.
No matter how bad it hurts.
No matter what.
Sometimes it’s so fucking hard to keep pushing.
But it’s always worth it.
I know because I’ve bled my way to the mountaintop. I’ve stepped in my own tears and pushed through the pain.
Finding out what you’re really made of, that you have no limits, and that you’re stronger than you ever through possible… that shit is worth anything.
Never ever ever give up.
Courage Is Taking The Armor Off
You can’t have strength without vulnerability.
You can’t be truly brave in your armor.
You have to take it off if you really want to be courageous.
Hey, You
Yeah, you!
You’re a fucking badass.
Seriously, you’re a badass.
And I just wanted to take a minute to remind you of that.
Ok, carry on. Get back to your badass stuff.
Fuck Style
I got an email from a reader of my blog. This person gave me some advice about the grammar and punctuation I used in my writing.
I don’t actually remember what their issue was, but it was something like “Hey, just thought you’d like to know that you can’t start a sentence with the word ‘and’. Have a great day!”
And …fuck that.
I know this person had good intentions. Trying to be helpful. Possibly trying to feel better about herself. Trying to share her expertise.
So, did I go back and change my grammar? Of course not.
And I hope I don’t sound like a fool in my writing, but honestly, I’m not doing this shit to be graded. I write to share ideas. To start a conversation or provoke a new way of thinking. Sometimes to teach or inspire.
And I don’t need a style to do that. I don’t need to know the rules. And even if I know the rules, I don’t need to follow them.
Styles. Rules. Limits.
These are all words for the same thing. They’re inventions of the mind. Limits and styles and rules do not exist in nature. Not when it comes to human behavior. Not when it comes to what you write or say or think or wear or do.
These are boxes that you don’t need to live inside of.
Styles are a prison for your mind.
I’m sure that reader felt sorry for me, starting my sentences with the word ‘and’ like some kind of idiot.
And, it might sound strange, but I feel sorry for her too. I feel sorry that she is so comfortable in her prison, so at peace there, that she would invite me in to join her.
That’s something I hope you always say no to.
People will often invite you into their own mind-made prisons.
Their invitations often start with the words, “you can’t.”
And the correct response is, “fuck that.”
“Experts” told Reinhold Messner, “You can’t climb Mount Everest without supplemental oxygen. You’ll die if you try.” He said “fuck your prison” in 1978 and did it anyway. Then in 1980, he came back alone, in winter, and did it again in a style that no one had ever done before. It’s still considered one of the most badass feats in climbing history.
Bruce Lee talked about how he doesn’t believe in styles when it comes to martial arts. He talked about how fighting has no rules, and martial arts is really just about expressing oneself honestly, with no limits.
And speaking of writing, James Joyce wrote what is probably the most influential novel of the 20th century, Ulysses. Some people say it’s the best novel ever written. And the last chapter, called Molly Bloom’s Soliloquy, is 66 pages long, consists of only 8 sentences, and only two marks of punctuation. Literally, there are only two periods in the whole chapter. It’s also one of the most brilliant and amazing things ever written. I’d have to ask my reader, but I’m pretty sure it breaks a lot of the rules.
This is how the book ends:
he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.
Fucking amazing.
So, how should I end this post? With some kind of lesson or call to action? Should I give you some kind of advice? Something to think about? Or should I just stop writing in the middle of the sentence?
I honestly don’t know. And,
Leadership Is Going First
Leadership isn’t about personality or tactics or strategies.
Leadership isn’t a set of skills.
Leadership isn’t something you learn in a seminar. You can’t learn it in a book.
Leadership is much simpler than that.
If you want people to follow you, you need to put yourself in front of others.
Leadership just means going first.
How to be a leader at ________.
How do you put this into practice?
If you want to be a thought leader, share your thoughts.
If you want to be a business leader, start a business.
If you want to lead a movement of people embracing self experimentation, start a blog about self experimentation.
If you want to lead the resistance, put yourself on the front lines. At the front of the front lines. Charge into battle.
If you want to be a leader in the world of fitness, bust your ass. Let your actions talk.
“Apathy is the enemy. Invest enough that the penalty for looking the other way compels you to care. Potential loss usually motivates more than potential gain (though that may be the lens I see through).
The key to progress – whether discussing physical training or spiritual growth – is simple: you must want who or what you might become more than who you are or what you have right now. You must want what you can become enough to work and think your way out of being who you are right now.
The Buddha suggested that desire is the root of suffering. Krishnamurti figured it is man’s most precious possession, the flame of life. I say use it but don’t be enslaved by it. When you look in the mirror, recognizing who and what you are, and say, “I want to change” you are expressing desire. Do something with it. Fulfill it. ”
– Mark Twight
Never Stop Fighting
If you care about something. If you really want it. If you want to live with no excuses.
It doesn’t really matter how you get there. It doesn’t matter how hard it is.
What matters most is that you never give up. Never stop fighting for what you love.